Write What You Know

"And if real life was like the movies, I should have lived happily ever after."

The other night, I was driving back from Shutesbury from a dinner party with two friends. As I sat in the back seat of the car, I watched the two girls in front of me and tried to absorb the scene in as much as I could. The windows were pulled down and the summer breeze flew through the cracks of the glass. I turned my head and glanced over at one of the girls as she sang along and laughed, putting her hands outside the window to feel the push and pull of the cold air on her fingertips. The car was going so fast that all I could see when I looked outside were quick flashes of green as we drove away from the woods, back to what we knew as home. The sound of the wind blew out the thoughts in my brain as the strands of my hair danced to the music blaring out of the car speakers. The music was so loud, I couldn't think. All I could do was just sit back, put my lips to the tip of my clove, and inhale as I closed my eyes and put my head to the back of the seat. As I finally opened my eyes and licked the taste of cinnamon off my lips, I regained my reflections and thought to myself, "this is my movie."

I can't help but go through my days seeing every interaction I have as a scene out of a film. Sometimes things seem so surreal that when I take myself out of the situation and look in on it, I can't believe that this is my life. When I look in the mirror, similar thoughts begin to race in my head. Every time I examine my cold pale skin, almond colored eyes, and chubby lips, I feel like I'm looking at somebody else. It's as if I'm just a character, a character in my own movie and I'm not actually real.

I wouldn't really consider myself a cinephile, but I do know that one of my main escapes is film. Just being able to take myself out of my own life for a good 2 hours or so and to just shut the fuck up and listen to someone else talk for awhile. To listen to their thoughts, to experience their problems, to feel their happiness or sadness. I don't know what it is, but there's just something about watching a good film that makes me feel at ease. Maybe that's why whenever I experience those moments in my life where I feel like I'm in a movie, I hope to myself that maybe I'll get a happy ending too.

Let's go everywhere, even though we're scared. Cause it's life and it's happening, it's really really happening... right now.